a short rant about vitamins

1 Oct

a short rant about vitamins

Why are vitamin pills so expensive?  I’m thinking about saving some money and switching to a daily crack cocaine habit…

… that is all :-)

Segway cliff diving incident prompts calls to end dangerous sport

28 Sep

In a classic case of ‘too weird to be true therefore it must be so’, the owner of Segway has tragically died by – wait for it – riding his Segway off a cliff into a river.

Oh dear….

I wonder if someone will trot out the ‘that’s how he would have wanted to go’ line at his funeral (falling off a cliff into a river whilst riding a ‘personal transport device’?  I doubt that factored into his plans!).

RIP crazy Segway dude.  Roll on!

(on a serious note, Mr Helesden sounded like a decent bloke, giving plenty back to charity and the local community and our sympathies go out to his family)

scared of the Australian wildlife?

27 Sep

scared of the Australian wildlife?

Car crash into house 2Just over six years ago I moved from the UK to Australia.

Invariably, the first thing anyone who has never actually been here will say to you when you tell them you’re moving ‘down under’ is:

“aren’t you scared of all the nasty wildlife?”

before regaling you with tales of poisonous spiders the size of dinner plates, deadly jellyfish that can paralyse if you so much as look at them from the beach, killer kangaroos with a punch harder than Tyson roaming the streets looking for some biff, ants that jump – jump! – forty feet into the air before landing on your head and burrowing into your brain!

The reality, of course, is somewhat different.

Sure, there are plenty of deadly snakes, spiders, sharks and other nasty creepy crawlies in Australia if you really want to go crazy, or (and?) live out in the country.   Thankfully though, for us lily-livered city dwellers the scariest creatures are normally drunken bogans on Grand Final night.

Would you like to know what the biggest danger in Australia really is?   Way more dangerous than the rabid drop-bear!

(more…)

Ding! How do you like your hamster cooked?

24 Sep

Ding! How do you like your hamster cooked?

Does this make any sense to you?

From the AFP:

“A British court has sentenced a man to nine weeks in prison after he killed his favourite pet hamster by cooking it in a microwave during a drunken row with his girlfriend.”

Isn’t that rather like hitting your own head with a frying pan or punching yourself in the bollocks if someone disagrees with you?

The best part comes a bit later in the story, courtesy of one Anthony Parker, aka ‘The Furry Fryer’:

“I didn’t mean to kill her. She was the best hamster I ever had. She was called Suzie.”

I feel sorry for the other hamsters in his collection if Suzie was his favourite.

Where did the rest end up?   In the toaster?  The washing machine?  Cheese grater?

I shudder to think!

[yeah, ok, I was really just dying for an excuse to resurrect a classic old Sun headline!]

Commonwealth Games in chaos? Nonsense!

22 Sep

Commonwealth Games in chaos?  Nonsense!

Lots of stories around at the moment regarding the readiness of Delhi and India to host the Commonwealth Games – due to start any day now.  Some say the games should be cancelled.  Others are calling for athletes to stay at home, lest they succumb to terrorist attack or having to sleep in a dirty bed.

I really don’t see what all the fuss is about.  India stands proud and is ready to rock and roll!

Doubters – you can stand down right now!

Witness:

- State of the art stadium facilities:

commonwealth games stadium

- World-class catering facilities and international cuisine from renowned celebrity chefs:

commonwealth games kitchen

commonwealth games food

- Incredible athletes village complex:

Commonwealth Games athletes village

- Unsurpassed levels of convenience and comfort for games visitors:

commonwealth games bridge

See what I mean?  I dare say that by the end of the games, the organising committee will declare this to be ‘the best games evah!’*

* staged in India. In Delhi.  During October 2010.

Don’t just take my word for it though.  Here’s the ebullient press release from the Indian High Commission For The Advancement of Commonwealth Games Enjoyment :

“Come to beautiful Delhi and experience joy of seeing four of the World’s top athletes compete in some of most exciting events yet staged in history of everything:

- competitive wheelbarrow racing

- heavyweight brick carrying

- 100m wall painting dash

- stagnant pool hurdles

You won’t forget it!  Whilst you are here be sure to partake in Delhi’s indescribable culture:

- experience dengue fever!

- witness explosive terror of a local welcome (* may contain loud bangs and occasional gunfire)

- get fit running from aggressive beggars and touts

- spend some time in our beautiful conveniences as you enjoy latest in severe Delhi Belly”

Convinced?

You should be!  And shame on you for being a non-believer.

Let the games begin!!

(/s for the sarcasm impaired.  You know what might have helped?  How about giving the games workers some tools and machinery instead of making them scratch around in the dirt and build everything by hand!)

run and hide!

21 Sep

run and hide!

Yay: there’s a co-ordinated effort today by agencies around the World targeted at closing down spamming and phising sites.

Boo: the only problem is, THEY TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT IT BEFOREHAND!

Doh! *shakes head*